You can leave the hotel bed unmade. The garage is all yours. You can be showered and ready to go in 10 minutes. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend. Chocolate is just another snack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
Car mechanics tell you the truth. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him. Gray hair and wrinkles only add character. The remote control is yours and yours alone. You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong buddies. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
Notice anything different? Great to see you. Same as it ever was. I pee standing up. The toilet seat in my house is in the "up" position, because it can be -- and as it should be -- since I'm single.
We pee standing up because it's fast, efficient, and germ-free. We especially love to pee, standing up, in the great outdoors -- by a stream, under a tree, on the grass, and when there is no bathroom to be found anywhere in sight, on a quiet dark street corner, up against a brick or concrete wall with our head turned the other way, of course, to make sure we are not seen.
Oh, and we really really enjoy making little yellow art doodles and words in fresh snow. If a guy says otherwise, he's lying.
We've been doing it since we were little boys. It gives us a big chuckle. What's wrong with that? Here's the thing. We love peeing in the urinal just as much. It's been around since , just after the Civil War in fact, when Andrew Rankin patented it maybe that's where the word "rank" came from. The McSorley's urinals stand five feet or more in the air, and they envelope you when you stand up to them.
They've been serving men honorably since , and I have to say, I felt the presence of the tens of thousands of men who have peed before me, lost in their thoughts while staring at their half-filled beer mugs resting comfortably on the ledge. I brush my hair with my hand. I keep my hair short and sweet, so all I need to do when I get up in the morning is make a quick sweep of my short mop, left to right, and I'm good to go. My boys have adopted my technique, 'cept they add a little gel for their own individual spiked look.
Most men with longer hair don't usually reach for a comb or brush either. Doesn't matter the reason. Rake and run. And if their hair starts to get unmanageable, they grab a rubber band, tie it up into a hair bun, or just let it hang like Jesus.
Whatever works, or doesn't, it doesn't matter. That's because he always has his hand to fix it, again. I can take my shirt off in public freethetatas is fine too. We take our shirts off at the beach. We take 'em off for pickup basketball games that's so we know whose on our team, and whose not - Shirts vs.
We take them off when we're cutting the grass, and when we take that oh-so-refreshing dip in the pool, lake, river, bay, or ocean. There is one place that guys should never take their shirts off, however, and that's online -- Facebook, OkCupid, Match, Tinder, Bumble, Instagram, Twitter, anywhere! Find me a woman who is asking for your shirtless self. She doesn't exist. There are three exceptions to the rule -- you are a professional actor, athlete, or model. Otherwise, keep your shirtless selfies to yourself -- unless she asks.
I don't have a time of month. We don't bloat. We don't bleed. We don't swell. We don't have hormonal overloads. We don't have mood swings. We don't have tenderness, soreness, or swollenness. We don't have PMS. We don't have periods. Do we need to be extremely understanding to our loved ones who do each and every month? Hell to the yeah! The line for the public bathroom is so much shorter.
0コメント